I understand the bullying and the keeping everything inside. My school days weren’t very different, although I do not have boobs! I am no longer in school, but it has forever scared me. I still have anti-social behavior and I don’t have many friends. None outside of work. What do you do? How do you look for friends?
It’s very hard to get away from your anti-social behavior; I think a lot of people act this way to protect themselves from getting hurt. If you want to have more friends, you’re going to have to be willing to put yourself out there. I recommend facing every situation with a smile. It is really hard to be mean to someone who starts off by giving you a smile. Kill everyone with kindness, it might sound silly, but people are much more receptive to kindness.
Strike up a conversation with just about anyone, it might be hard to get out of your shell, but you will probably find that you have something in common with just about anyone. I find that anti-social people often come off as stuck up, people think that you’re being anti-social because you think you’re better than them, or something to that effect. Since you’re less likely to open your mouth and let people know about you, they are more likely to make assumptions about you that may not be true.
The best thing you can do is love yourself. If you are happy with who you are, you will be more confident, people are really attracted to confidence. Since it sounds like you had a hard time growing up, your self-love may not be so great. Work on accepting yourself for everything you are, and aren’t. The world is full of different unique people for a reason. It would be so boring if everyone was the same, and I think you’re pretty awesome for being different. Embrace your flaws, they make you unique and they make you who you are. If you love yourself, others will follow.
Go hang out somewhere that you really enjoy, and spend the day just talking to people, some people will blow you off and be jerks, the world is full of them, but that’s ok. It is only their insecurity showing. Hopefully you will connect with some new people, find some common ground and go from there. You both like art? Ask your new friend if they want to go to a museum with you next week. Be proactive, it’s like a first date and you’re the guy, you have to be willing to make the first move, and hopefully you won’t get rejected! Rejection is part of life however, and if someone blows you off, you didn’t want to be friends with them anyway, so consider yourself lucky to have weeded them out so quickly! Keep your chin up and just keep trying!
-I Am Not Defined
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