5 Mar

Dear I Am Not Defined,

Okay, ever since I started on WordPress, I’ve tried to find people and stories to encourage me to keep going in life. For the past few months, I’ve felt absolutely lost. What does that mean? Ever since I found that my will to continue has diminished significantly, it’s been a struggle every day to just do what I need to do. I know I have depression, and I’ve been getting treatment for it for a while…but after 7 years of being diagnosed with it, it has taken a large toll on my mindset. My family has gone through so much emotional hardships since then. We’ve done family therapy, we opened up, and we’ve become closer than ever.

As I get older, I started noticing that my family appears to think that I have this under control. They think I am getting better, that the problems aren’t that major. How am I supposed to tell them that I’ve been relapsing over the past 3 months? I tried talking about things with my friends, but I found only one of them understands completely, and I know she can’t handle everything I tell her because we’re in the same boat.

How can I keep myself from falling back into reclusive habits? I feel like if I tried to tell my family what was wrong, I would get blamed, in some way, for still feeling like this. I’m lost on how to approach this. Could the answer really be right in front of me, and I’m just scared to face it?


Dear Depressed,

You said that you and your family tried therapy, and that it worked really well for you then, so I wonder, have you tried it on your own? Have you talked to a therapist or counselor recently about your relapses? If you haven’t maybe it is time to. It sounds like you’re having hard time handling things on your own, so maybe you need some help right now. If you’re afraid of how your family will handle everything, talk to someone about it. Maybe they can help you find a good way to reach out.

If you really just want to talk to your family members about your situation, then maybe do it in baby steps. Maybe take them aside one at a time, and test the waters. Hint at possibly having some problems, and see how they react. They might surprise you, and be completely understanding. It sounds like your family really cares about you, having gone through such great lengths to get you help. I think you are probably thinking they will react badly, when they will most likely be understanding and try to help.

If it doesn’t go well trying to talk to your family, or they don’t react well when you test the water, maybe seek some support groups. There are a lot of people out there who suffer from depression, and I have no doubt that any search engine can give you numerous links.

If you’re afraid of withdrawing from the people around you, keep yourself from doing so. When you notice that you haven’t been out in a while, don’t be afraid to call up a friend or family member and make plans. The people around you may not understand what you’re going through, but they do still enjoy your company and want to be around you, so use it to your benefit. A good laugh with friends is severely underestimated when it comes to feeling down.

 I truly hope you find someone you can talk to, and don’t sink further into your depression. Remember that there is a light at the end of every tunnel, and no feelings will last forever. You can and will get through this. You have done so for seven years; it’s understandable that you are having a hard time. Everyone needs a break from trying so hard all the time. Just remember what you have in your life to be thankful for, and surround yourself with positive people who make you feel like yourself. I hope things get better!

-I Am Not Defined

Join us on Facebook or Twitter!

Or get your own Advice!

© I Am Not Defined, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited.


34 Responses to “Depressed~Advice”

  1. noir33 March 7, 2012 at 11:26 am #

    The longer I live > As I get older

  2. deWriterMD March 7, 2012 at 8:08 pm #

    Keep up the good work…heaven knows, there’s plenty of people in this world who need someone to reach out to! Namaste

  3. Randy Duckworth March 8, 2012 at 1:52 am #

    Excellent Advice! Keep up the good work!

  4. jeffssong March 8, 2012 at 2:57 am #

    Might be time for a meds check if you’re on anti-depressives. Body changes, time goes by – dosage may need adjusted; a supplemental put in, or even a different drug. But best of course if you can do so (be happy) without meds.

  5. cobyjean March 8, 2012 at 8:27 pm #

    What a neat shift from all the humorous toss-offs on depression and other life challenges — really enjoying reading what you’re offering and glad you’re doing it!

  6. Raul Constantinos March 9, 2012 at 7:43 am #

    Well done for trying to bring good to the world. I really mean it when I say I respect you a huge amount. Some really brilliant posts and really hit home with me. Please keep this up for as long as possible!

  7. Cara Olsen March 10, 2012 at 10:40 am #

    This is an exceptionally cool concept. I’ve often thought of doing something similar with my writings — not so much advice directly, but musings and discoveries from what my own experiences have taught me. What you aim to do is Good, and I hope that those you reach will heed the advice and encouragement.


  8. calbell March 10, 2012 at 11:17 am #

    I’m your hundredth “like” on Facebook, so whopee me!

    On a less facetious note: Your words come through here, Iam. Even on a precursory skim-through, it’s obvious to anyone reading that you care–genuinely care about other peoples’ problems. I’ll have to step into cliche territory here and say that your consideration is, indeed, a rare thing to see in these days.

    Because…well, many people who wish well give no possible solutions or actual HELP in a “help-me-reply-please” letter. You give those recommendations along with your messages of hope, and for that:


  9. Alexandria March 12, 2012 at 3:50 pm #

    Excellent advice. I hope this person really heeds it. Depression is a tough battle and does require action on the part of the depressed. It doesn’t heal automatically and is caused by so many factors. When the thoughts begin to move in it’s like fog rolling in and invading the mind. Pretty soon they completely cloud reality and truth and one can’t see even one foot in front. Something those afflicted tend to do is let lying thoughts take them over. Each thought must be examined and weighed in the balance of truth. Most of them are rooted in unreality and non-truth. When truth replaces lies the fog starts to clear and joy shines like the sun.
    I’m not meaning to simplify a complex process but one needs to travel deep within the emotion and examine the belief system behind it—emotions of fear, anxiety, worry, self-hate, failure—is any of it based on what’s real and true, or is it imagined? When you discover how much you are in the grip of the imagined, its easy to let those lies go. This can require a lot of work but do take baby steps, one thought at a time. As with any new habit, it takes time.
    Reach out and make friends with safe and sane people. They will be there for you. Stop telling yourself no one cares. Many do. We were never meant to travel alone.
    And one more thing—politely excuse yourself from the cynical crowd. They are an inefficient use of your mind and your time.

  10. sirdiggy March 16, 2012 at 12:01 pm #

    The power of prayer helps too.

Share your thoughts?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: